In the tone of Hamlet, to choose or not to choose, that is the question. In authoring "Trauma in the Workplace. I need help!", I had the opportunity to speak to many who have experienced corporate bullying.
Choosing to advocate for yourself requires courage, believe it or not. Bullies look to exclude and enroll others to participate in the bullying. Bullying can be as subtle as saying you are negative to the most extreme by yelling or intentionally excluding you from key meetings to keep you in the dark intentionally. Regardless of the degree of bullying, find your voice. Do your homework on how to protect yourself.
A common theme is people watch in admiration as the victim demonstrates that they are strong. As an observer, YOU are choosing comfort. To not get involved. To turn a blind-eye because it’s not your problem.
As the victim, we are also in the position of choice and often do not choose to stand for ourselves. By not taking a stance, you are choosing to endure the abuse. I’ve certainly been here where I’ve continued to endure abuse, understanding that the system has failed me and yet I’m choosing to stay. Indecision is a choice.
In the end, choose courage over comfort. Comfort is grounded in fear. You may have a fear that you can’t find another job like the one you have. Well, what if you find an even better one? You may have a fear that if you speak up you could become a target. Well, this may be true and at the same time, by not speaking up, you are already a target. Oswald Yeo, CEO of Glint states, “culture is what you reward, punish and tolerate.”
Likewise for the observer. Demonstrate courage and speak up when you see behaviors that are damaging to others. If everyone is turning a blind-eye, it speaks volumes of the corporate culture and it’s a matter of time before all are impacted. I will always choose courage, whether it is fighting for myself or choosing to take a stand for someone else.
“Be the change we wish to see in the world” – Mahatma Gandhi
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